This is my attempt to get back into pre-baby shape and ring in the big 3-5 with a bang, or rather with 26.2 miles. Just as training for my first half marathon taught me a lot about myself (for example, it taught me that not only was I capable of running 13.1 miles in a row, but that I love doing it), I'm sure this experience will be as educational as it will be challenging. Thanks for sharing in my journey with me . . .

Sunday, May 29, 2011

5/29/2011

Training schedule says I will do: 13 miles

I actually did:    12.01 miles*

* 14.26 miles using Aubree's Bonus Mileage System, getting 1/2 mile for the wind, 1/4 mile for the rain, 1 mile for my socks, pants, and 2 shirts getting soaked through, and 1/2 mile for traveling >10 miles
 
Days to go until the marathon: 119


Miles to go until 1000: 800.46


This run was pretty miserable.  The weather started out crappy, and got crappier as I ran.  Yuck.  The weather made it pretty mentally challenging, and made me start to question what it is I'm doing.  I am someone who doesn't doubt myself a whole lot.  While I don't really consider myself to be great at anything, I do tend to be successful when I set out to do something.  Even in the great unknown of medicine, sometimes I second guess decisions I have made, but for the most part I feel comfortable in what I do.  So I guess this has led to some level of confidence that when I say I want to do something, I will be able to do it.  Because of this, I have never really questioned that I'd be able to run a marathon.  Until today.  This run was just so awful, I started thinking maybe I couldn't run a whole marathon, and maybe I shouldn't even try.  

But I am always one to look for the silver lining, and at the end of this terrible, terrible run, I think I found it.  As awful as I felt today, I kept at it.  Yes, I cut the run short by a mile (which I did knowing it would be >13 miles once the bonus miles got added), and yes, I walked for probably a total of a mile of this run.  But never once did I think, "I'm going to call my husband to come pick me up."  When the going got tough, I walked for a bit.  Which I think is fine.  Honestly, I'll be fine if I have to walk for part of the marathon.

And even when I was thinking I couldn't run a marathon, I wasn't thinking I'd give up on running.  Instead, I thought I'd just run the half marathon that's being held on the same day.

So I'm going to take those things as signs I really shouldn't give up trying to run a marathon.  And I'm going to tell myself that I'm sure everyone has bad days now and again.  And I'm going to remember how much fun running is when the weather is not awful.  And I'm going to go back out for a long run next weekend.
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